Why Being “Too A lot” Is the Secret to Higher Relationships & Much less Stress

Elevate your hand in case you’ve ever been advised you’re “an excessive amount of.” Too loud. Too emotional. Too passionate. Too bold. Too… you.

For lots of ladies, that’s the cue to begin shrinking. We tone down our voice, dim our fiery nature, and sand down the sharp, stunning edges that make us who we’re—all within the determined hope of being accepted. We study to censor our jokes, disguise our huge desires, and put a lid on our emotions as a result of we’re afraid our real selves shall be rejected.

However right here’s the tough-love, liberating reality: the fixed effort to make your self smaller is exhausting … AND it’s additionally the #1 cause you’re feeling so drained and caught in less-than-stellar relationships.

Leaning into your genuine self and proudly proudly owning your “too much-ness” is definitely your secret weapon. It’s the one option to construct the high-quality connections you deserve—and at last dial down your stress for good.

The Downside With Shrinking Your self

Consistently enhancing your self to be extra palatable is a one-way ticket to burnout. On high of holding again the true you, you’re expending an enormous quantity of psychological and emotional vitality to take action.

Each time you chew your tongue, faux a joke was funnier than it was, or swallow your true emotions, you’re making a withdrawal out of your treasured vitality reserves.

This creates a quiet, insidious type of stress that lives simply beneath the floor, leaving you anxious and unfulfilled—even whenever you’re surrounded by individuals.

The reality? You’re primarily in a relationship with a model of you that doesn’t even exist, and the individuals round you might be responding to that pretend model. That, my buddy, is a recipe for deep loneliness.

Your “Too A lot-ness” Is a Relationship Filter

If you cease apologizing in your enthusiasm, ardour, or huge, typically messy emotions, one thing unbelievable occurs: you begin attracting your soulmate relationships.

Friendships

This implies discovering soul-sisters who don’t simply tolerate your wild concepts—they’re those who say, “YES! And what if we did this subsequent?!” They cheer in your ambition as a substitute of seeing it as a risk. These friendships go deeper than surface-level chatter since you’re absolutely seen and understood with out judgment.

Partnerships

In love, this implies discovering a associate who celebrates your quirks and loves you for the individual you might be—not the individual you faux to be. The suitable associate will encourage your boldest desires and by no means ask you to shrink for his or her consolation. (Bonus: they’ll match your bizarre.)

Communities

In your bigger neighborhood, it means surrounding your self with individuals who get it. Whether or not it’s your exercise group, guide membership, or a web based house, you’ll discover circles the place your concepts are met with curiosity and pleasure, not well mannered nods and fast topic modifications.

If you present up as your full, unapologetic self, you’re sending a transparent sign: That is who I’m. Take it or go away it. And the individuals who take it? They’re your individuals. Those who go away? They had been by no means meant for you anyway—and also you simply saved your self a ton of wasted time and vitality.

Why Proudly owning Your Genuine Self Reduces Stress

Embracing your “too much-ness” can also be probably the most highly effective types of self-care. It’s a direct path to much less stress and extra peace.

If you’re not policing each phrase you say or emotion you’re feeling, you unencumber large quantities of psychological bandwidth.

• As a substitute of agonizing over whether or not it’s best to ship your buddy that nerdy article you liked—you simply ship it, and so they get excited too.

• As a substitute of hiding your huge enterprise thought—you share it, and all of a sudden the appropriate connection seems.

• As a substitute of swallowing your frustration in a relationship—you talk your wants, and your associate rises to fulfill you.

That is what residing authentically looks like. It’s radical self-trust—and it not solely strengthens your relationships, it strengthens your relationship with your self.

Cease Shrinking, Begin Thriving

Being “an excessive amount of” just isn’t a flaw—it’s proof that you’ve a robust gentle to share with the world. Hiding it solely creates extra stress and loneliness.

Your distinctive mix of enthusiasm, empathy, and ambition is the very factor that may entice your individuals.

So cease shrinking. Begin shining. And watch each your relationships and your peace of thoughts flourish.

What’s one a part of your self you’ve been holding again that you just’re able to lastly share with the world? – Alex

Desire a Secure House to Be Totally You?

If you happen to’re prepared to fulfill your soul household TODAY and begin practising full expression in a protected teaching house, my Unfuckwittable Membership is the right place. There’s even a complete module on this very subject—so you’ll be able to apply it in actual life and really feel grounded whilst you do it. Learn more and join our powerful community here.